Today, I am going to share something which struck me today in my own personal experience. I shall eliminate unimportant details to keep this simple.
I was approached by A who had asked me to help to do something. Person A is someone who doesn’t command any respect from the people around him. He constantly delegates all his work, does not contribute to much input but requests people to do his work for him. He conducts long meetings of which time is wasted doing nothing because he couldn’t conduct a good meeting. He has no idea what is going on.
Knowing that I am overwhelmed with things on my to do list, I politely requested for the job to be reassigned. However the reply was that everyone else was also assigned jobs.
That does not sit well with me because it felt unfair. Surely there are so many other people? But on hindsight, the situation was made worse because of a total lack of respect for this person who do not know how to lead. Neither does he know how to motivate. In the end I concluded that nobody wanted to work for him anyway, so he keeps appointing people who respond to him.
That might be a wrong impression because he might have other thoughts that I am unaware of. But because of the impression he portrays, it is easy for the human mind to stereotype and come to a conclusion. And it feels good too.
Contrast this with Person B who works hard. You stay till 8pm and you see him around too. One day you need some help and he goes out of his way to help you. He politely requests for your assistance on some work, and does not phrase it in a manner that you are expected to help; rather, he is asking.
The result is very different. I said yes to helping. The feeling you get out of saying yes feels good. It definitely feels better than if I had said yes to Person A. But because Person B exhibits helpfulness and a sense of bonding, it is easier to accept an additional task even when you are already overwhelmed.
It is the same theory as the emotional bank account. When you help someone, you put in money in his emotional bank account. He will feel more obliged to return the favour, and it will be easier for both parties to continue the kind act of helping.
Fill the emotional bank account of your colleagues or friends today. Show that you value his or her time and effort. Smile. Take the opportunity to communicate and build the friendship. Be hardworking and be empathetic.
You can be sure that nobody liked Person A. It will result in a negative downward spiral where people start to ignore him and cease communications. You will spread bad comments about him, not because you are a gossipy bitch but because he doesn’t command that sense of respect.
In a nutshell, when you command respect among your friends and subordinates, it is easier to delegate certain work downwards. Plus, they will feel happy doing it. The contrast where there is no respect, delegation is hard and people don’t like doing it. They spread the work and you will find it difficult to command respect from other people as well. Command respect and you can achieve more with less.