Publicity Xedo Style?

I’ve got my own website which I created and I would like very much to publicize it and let it gain more attention so others will use it. I’ve been thinking, “How should I best publicize it?”. The answer, is very much simple, I publicize it Xedo style. It is effective, I can’t deny that. Xedo came from being an unknown to a company which I care much about, even though I am not an avid anime fan. By care about I mean I keep myself updated to the company, to my absolute disgust.

I’m now faced by low traffic. The reason is that I have never publicized it actively. My site is about the tuition industry, and I have not made myself known to the tuition industry by being involved in their activities or their world. Sounds just like Odex at the start isn’t it? We are both unknowns because we do not take the step to publicize ourselves. The difference is that my site is not fully launched yet, and Xedo is just simply in a can’t be bothered mood.

I have a faint idea of what I am going to do. I am going to write an assessment book. A math assessment book for the O level students. I am going to release it on the popular file sharing network, BitTorrent. The chao muggers who are looking for extra practice questions will probably love downloading my assessment book on BitTorrent. After all its free! Sooner or later, someone helpful will help me to edit all my grammatical errors and spelling errors and post a fansub version of it. More people will download it.

I will then publish the assessment book myself. I will put it up on major bookstores for sale. After a few months, I will ask myself, why have my sales been so lousy? People tell me its because of my grammatical and spelling errors, and that because I did not advertise it to whom it concerns most. I do not believe that is true. As a chao mugger assessment book lover myself, it is my duty to protect those who love assessment books and hug them to sleep every night! It’s those people who download my books via bittorrent that is the culprit. I will sue their ass off. I will double-6 them!

I will work with the Assessment Book Printers Association of Singapore (ABPAS) and sue all those people who infringe on my copyright! I’m even better than Xedo, because I’m the copyright holder and the judge cannot overthrow my case! Hahaha!

I will then team up with an unknown company to track downloads. Hell, maybe I will participate in the file-sharing and grab all the IPs that I can find. No one will know the truth! I will say that I hired PayGST to check the IP addresses. Once I get the IP addresses, its off to the courts in Singapore! I will make sure the newspapers portray me as the hero trying to protect the industry when all I want is actually fame and money.

I will serve a court order to Singnet, Starhub and Pacnet. They can’t deny me because I’m the copyright holder and not a sub-licensee. What a great plan! With the subscribers information, I will then send letters to all those that infringe on my copyright and tell them to pay me $3k – $5k to settle this matter, else I may proceed with legal action!

When the 9-year-old prodigy came up to me to beg for forgiveness, he gave me this reason: “I’m sorry! All I wanted was to complete my O level Mathematics at age 9 and then do my A levels at 10 and get into a university at 11! I didn’t realize that what I was doing is wrong! Please forgive me!”

I told him,”Boy, I am very fair. I will look at each individuals financial situation one. I see your parents got a lot of money in the bank. So you can pay me about $4500. Give you $500 discount liao leh!”

Some people who I have never caught even came up to me to confess. I forgave them and let them go.

Somebody will then come up with stinky news that I was the shareholder for a company that prints illegal assessment book last time. However I will use my lawyers to fight them.

Then, when no one can download any assessment book, I will introduce my Assessment-book on demand (AOD) service. For 2 dollars, you can now download a chapter of my assessment book within the next 7 days! You do not have reason to download illegally already!

I will also tell everyone that the extra money will go to charity! What I did not say is that I will give to the ex-NKF! Hahaha. The ex-NKF director is my best friend! We like to install golden tap together one! We will get so much money, we don’t have to sell assessment book anymore!

Disclaimer: This story is completely ficticious. There is no such company as Xedo or PayGST. Nobody was made to pay money and there’s no 9 year old prodigy. The whole story is fake. Please do not believe a single word from it. This story is written for pure entertainment purposes. If you like it, leave a comment. If you feel that you can improve my story, or you can come up with a story, you can tell me and I will publish it here!No assessment books were hurt in the process. All assessment books were printed with recycled paper. No trees were hurt!

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