When disappointment sinks in

Sometimes in life we don’t get what we want. Some things in life are just out of our control. Some events happen suddenly, without warning, and it changes a major component of your life. Most of the time when that happens, we get disappointed, because things go wrong. But I guess I learnt something from this lesson, that I should never ever rely on anyone for major plans, unless I have direct control or I can trust that person completely because he or she has proven himself or herself to be absolutely reliable.

Something just happened recently. But let me give a brief background. Last year whilst the university clique was having lunch in the NUS canteen, A mentioned that there’s a chance to get free tickets. A trip within Malaysia from West to East Malaysia would end up only costing me S$15 for the other misc charges, including airport tax. This is indeed a good deal and we all jumped at the opportunity. In fact, some of us were already intending to suggest a holiday trip to Malaysia and Indonesia since two of our friends are from there.

So with great enthusiasm we all discussed and happily booked the tickets. Some of us didn’t manage to book the tickets at the free ticket pricing since it was actually limited, so we paid a range of S$70 to S$200. For the same tickets. We booked four tickets to go to many destinations. When I queried about what are we going to do exactly there, I remember being told that it was still to early to plan, and there is plenty of time. In a way, that was something I couldn’t control. My whole trip lies on the planning of two individuals, A being responsible for the Malaysia leg, B being responsible for the Indonesia leg of the trip. This is actually dangerous planning because, on hindsight, they became key personnels who are indispensable. And indispensable people are dangerous because they have high potential to screw up plans.

So now A has a problem, and there is this chance (which I think is high chance) that she won’t be able to go to the trip after all. Being indispensable key personnel, this just means one thing, our Malaysia leg is totally screwed because our guide is now “missing”. Which causes plenty of problems actually. For one, the East Malaysia part of the trip would somehow be forfeited since there’s no guide and no one is familiar with East Malaysia. If we forfeit the East Malaysia part of the trip, we would have to forfeit two out of four of the tickets, and we still have to make our way from Singapore to KL so that we can make use of the last two tickets.

Since our original detail consists of 2 girls and 3 guys, the absence of A would mean that the only girl left would be GS. Which raises another problem. 1 girl and 3 guys going on a tour. There is a very high chance that the girl would not feel like going isn’t it? Not to mention that her parents would probably not approve.

Hence now there is this probability that we won’t be able to find a replacement for A, and as such, GS wouldn’t go, and we are 3 down to 3 man. Which makes is super sickening.

It doesn’t feel good not to be in control, to be subjected to the whims and fancy of people. But the problem is that A has a legitimate excuse, of which I do not want to discuss since there is this huge lack of sufficient information to properly analyse it. With the current information I have, that excuse won’t stand in my court. But nonetheless we have to move on, although we are disappointed. We have to plan adequately and try as much to go for the trip, even though it may end up to be only 3 man strong.

Although there is this minute chance that everything will end up well, that A would be able to go, I am not sure if that is the ideal situation already. Because A being able to go causes problems for her, and I guess as friends we would need to solve her problem for her.

Somehow I am at the stage where I just feel like going with the two other guys and backpack around. Perhaps the disappointment is too much. I hope I can still trust B though. For the indonesia leg of the trip, there better be no problems. Although the fun would have already been slashed since there’s only that few of us.

The “best hope” now, may be to find a replacement so 5 people can go. We may still have to end up forfeiting the East Malaysia trip too. But I guess this is a lesson learnt. Careful planning is vital, such that even if the key personnel has some problems cropping up, the rest of us can carry on the plan without much damage. In my case, we did not do careful planning, and now we are stuck in this stupid shit hole.

I am going to plan this and I am going to go for my holiday. I’m going to be 23 this year and I guess this is a perfect opportunity to demonstrate independence.


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