Was reading a friend’s blog, and realized she’s back from Taiwan. She went back to Taiwan with her boyfriend this time, and there’s quite a few photos on Facebook. 🙂 But after browsing and looking, I suddenly felt a little down. One of the purpose of the trip was to show her boyfriend to her relatives there. I was wondering whether I will be able to do such things in the future for my next relationship.
I don’t know since when, but there’s this huge stress when dealing with girlfriend’s parents relationship. This stress is not that great that it’ll break a relationship, but it’s just there, giving you constant worries and stress, wondering what you should do to please them, what you should not do so that they’ll have a good opinion of you.
You keep wondering if you’ve done right. You’re not sure what you should say or should not say in front of them.
I don’t even know how to make a proper conversation. Although my Chinese is not excellent, I happen to pride myself in able to speak it at least properly with some degree of fluency. I remember how stressed I felt that I stammered when using Chinese, and had to think of what words to use before I say them out. I remember how I can only say yes, no, and when I am required to form longer sentences, it just gives people the impression that my spoken Chinese is atrocious.
Whenever festivals come, you think if you should buy something over. You wonder if their expectations are different from your parents. You wonder if they’ll take into account that you’re a poor student. You wonder if it’s alright to only give one gift per year instead of gifts every festival. Bak Kwa for New Year, Moon Cakes for Mid Autumn, the list goes on.
To be honest, I’m actually fearful of parents. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do it properly the next time, whether I’ll get along with the parents, blabla. To make things worst, what about the extended family? In my own case, I only visit my extended family like once a year during CNY, so if there’s a close extended family, it’s going to be a whole new jump. A whole new experience.
Sometimes I wish that in a relationship, only the guy and the girl matters. But that is not the case. For a good long lasting relationship, you need to accept everyone in her life. Her family, her siblings. In the future when she is busy you may need to bring her parents for a check up. You really need to maintain good relationships. There must also be something to talk about.
Ah well. I really suck at this. Another reason to just get a house and a nice kitchen and live a wonderful life. Alone.