45 life lessons and my views

I obtained the following 45 life lessons from an email a friend sent me, and I thought it would be good to add in my own comments and ideas about them:

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio

“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.

It is the most-requested column I’ve ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:”

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
No one can get the same thing as everyone else. No one can achieve the same success with different amount of efforts. Look, communism was about sharing and everyone having the same things. People working together for the common good but look what it has become now. Even in communism, different levels of social class exists.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
We may spend some time being angry at a person, but most of the time there is nothing that serious to hate anyone. Even if we dislike someone, we will just forget about the person, and we don’t waste time hating him/her.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
Probably your friends will show care and concern, but they won’t take care of you. Your spouse will. I just watched a drama where they recited the wedding vows today. I got a deeper understanding for the words “for poorer, for richer” as well as whether one is healthy or sick, that they should stick by each other. I guess, this is what getting married is about.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
I couldn’t agree more. Bringing credit cards to the next month incurs interest charges. Credit card companies are earning money doing nothing except allowing you to pay it off later. A little interest here and there and you can buy something new after some time.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
This is something I learnt over the years of blogging. There will always be people with different views. Even when you exhaust all your energy trying to convince them and be polite, there will always be people who disagree and try to make your life miserable. So agree to disagree. Surprisingly, I realize that with time, I still get proven right for some ideas I had.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
This is something that I have something to voice out. I think crying is a therapeutic event. Hence it is good to cry. People feel better after crying. But why is God so unfair (see point 1 – life is unfair) cause he made it such that men find it hard to cry. Their tears just don’t flow so well. Men can’t feel better and is destined to feel sad. Haha.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God.. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
I couldn’t agree more either. With the idea of compound interest, building your retirement in 40 years time is so much more easier than building for retirement in 20 years time. Imagine using lesser money per month. You can enjoy so many more things in life while saving for retirement.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
Even with ulcers in the mouth, you can’t resist chocolates. Haha. Hate ulcers.

11. Live with the 3 E’s –Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
This reminded me of something Brian Tracy said. I am not sure if I remembered him correctly, but selling something is a transfer of enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is an infectious thing that affect people around you and gives them energy. I guess empathy is there to ensure that you’ll always try to understand another human being.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
I agree. Don’t enforce your ideas on other people unless you can help them change for the better. Sometimes, ideas are better left with – agreeing to disagree (point 6)

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
Well. Sometimes it is inevitable, but it is hard and painful. It is always a form of agony to constantly need to hide from people and lie to cover up a relationship.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
Isn’t it. Think NS. It didn’t kill me but made me stronger. I look back at my failures with pride, I look back at my 2 years with pride. No one should come and tell me that NS is a waste of time because it isn’t for me.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
I guess everyone of us has a 2nd childhood that lasts through life. We only show this side of us to the people we are close to, because deep down we are children at heart and we don’t want to be too serious.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
This reminds me. What is luck? Luck is preparation meeting opportunity. Prepare to the best, and go with the flow and wait for an opportunity. Create your own luck.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
Hence don’t care about what other people think, especially if it makes you miserable.

24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
Find your own happiness, and try to make it work. Don’t think that happiness is something that your partner gives you. It is something you create when you do something with your own effort.

25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ”In five years, will this matter?”.

26. Always choose life.

27. Forgive everyone everything.

28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
Like point 23.

29. Time heals almost everything.. Give time, time.
I agree. With time, you forget unhappy things. Even if you get lousy results, you end up having success in other areas after some time. Then why would the lousy results matter? Time also heals all emotional wounds.

30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

31. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

32. Believe in miracles.
Miracles are something you create yourself.

33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

34. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

35. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

36. Your children get only one childhood.

37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

38.Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
We never would know what problems others are facing. For all you know, your problems, though it may seem like the end of the world, is actually the least problematic problem compared to your friends’.

40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

41. The best is yet to come.
Sounds like some ACS thing, but I guess so. It is only the best “till now”. In the future you may become better.

42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

43. Yield

44. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

45. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

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