Today I didn’t exactly accomplish much in my attachment. I spend some time talking with my other intern and finding out that he is interested in applying for the DSTA scholarship, but there is only 1 year left to his studies and he was wondering how the bond would be like. There is this minimum cap of 4.2 for people to apply the exchange scholarship allowing you to study overseas for a year, and he didn’t meet it.
So he was asking me about it and he found out that I had more than 4.2. Cause he asked. Then he asked if I’m in first class. And I said yes. Then he asked for my cap. I said 4.6. He said “NUS got so easy to score meh”. Haha. It’s a little funny, slightly insulting cause what is easy to score. Like I’m not really that clever and I cannot be a first class student. Haha. But I didn’t take it to heart.
But the thing is, he triggered my feelings once again. What should I do? The dreams of the future, are they the path I want to take? Am I really sure? I wouldn’t know would I? I’m still learning more about myself every single day. Whether I should be bonded. Whether I should leave myself a free path.
Should I be bonded. Will the utility I get from having a scholarship in my last year of study exceed the cost I have to pay for being bonded? If it exceeds, by all means I should attempt. What if it doesn’t? Where is the balance of all these?
Having a scholarship does expose you lots of opportunities when you start work. More than the non-scholars. And it is probably good for building your character isn’t it? At this moment in time, it is not about the money anymore, but the experience. The intangible things you get. Is it worth it? Or is it more worth to be a free man and live my life? Shape it the way I want? Am I responsible enough to shape it? Determined enough? Hungry for success?
Am I? Or what should I do? Sooner or later I will have to make my decision, for I am the CEO of my own life.