I just came back from my Primary School class CNY gathering @ Mdm Foo’s. It’s a night of some firsts. First time I drive to Mdm Foo’s, so I have a car to drive back. First time I got a parking fine. Haha.
I haven’t seen all of them for quite some time. The last time when Yu Hui was supposed to be going to Canada and there was lunch, I couldn’t go due to me having something on, and the irony is that at the time when they meet, the thing got “cancelled”. Long story, but I didn’t make it to see them. And that time Yu Hui brought his girlfriend along. This time he didn’t.
I went there earlier with Qingbin as he was due to leave at 5pm for his piano lesson. He’s the one teaching, not learning. The girls were supposed to come at 4pm, and the guys at 5pm, but at 5pm, only Wan Jing came. Min Wei was already there when we arrived. Li Wei and Jie Min came at about 6pm, and the rest followed shortly after.
We had yu sheng. The older class that always came to Mdm Foo’s house made it themselves. Their wishes when they “laoed” the yu sheng was things like getting married, having kids and all those kind of things. It’s quite funny how a few years ago, they just graduated, and I’m going to graduate next year too. We’re all old already. But laoshi calls them “lao de”, meaning old ones, and called us “xiao de” meaning young ones, due to them being our seniors in primary school. At our age, they are already “lao de”, whilst we’re forever “xiao de”. Haha.
Then dinner. After dinner, the 5 of us guys, Li Wei, Teck, Pak Lun, Yu Hui and I went to the 2nd storey and sat inside one of the rooms to chat. We saw our old group photos, one of them was during our JC time and we still had the annual chalet. The conversation in the past has evolved and grown as we grow older in age. The topic was about getting married. We’re all going to be 24 this year. In reality, we’re all at the age that we can start thinking about these things, especially those with girlfriends.
It’s funny how I feel that I got nothing to plan for, and I actually feel that I’m slightly sick of being in a relationship, although I have been single since 08. Actually, sick of dating in general. It just doesn’t seem satisfying. Li Wei was right when he said that there’s no point if you’re not yourself in a relationship. I agree. All along I’ve been being this person to the girls in my life, who is very different from how I am with my friends. I don’t know if that is who I am, or that you become another person when you are with a girl you consider to be important. Maybe it’s normal, maybe it is not. I don’t know myself.
But what I know is I tend to compromise a lot on what I want when I start to like someone. And perhaps that is not who I truly am? I can’t relax and be myself sometimes because there are things you are expected to do as a guy. Blah blah blah. It’s quite irritating. I can’t be the witty me. I can’t show my confident side. I can’t feel my power. It’s just in built for me to try to conform to the girl, and even though I have some of my own beliefs, I keep them to myself because they are different, and differences may lead to quarrels.
But that is rather unhealthy isn’t it? I should be able to be who I am in real life with friends. Because the person you are going to spend the rest of your life should probably be your best friend. Someone that understands you for who you are.
Anyway, after the chat, we went down and had tea. Then we left, and some of them wanted to go Kbox at Safra Jurong. Teck’s girlfriend also came and it was the first time I saw her. Seeing how nice they are, I feel very happy for them. I think I shouldn’t rush things, and things will work out for me fine eventually.
Teck and his girlfriend, as well as Jing Han, took my car. Wan Jing, Min Wei and Pak Lun took Yu Hui’s car. Along the way we tailed each other and stopped side by side at traffic lights to talk, all whilst maintaining safety. So we reached Safra Jurong, and they alighted. Yu Hui drove off, and I drove Jing Han back to her home, which was between Boon Lay and Lakeside, and on my way home.
It was nice talking to her inside the car.
It was nice talking to all my friends and catching up. We should all meet up more often.
I enjoyed myself today. 🙂