I wanted to blog this earlier when I was still in the very tensed up mood, but I didn’t so now I’m feeling more relaxed after taking a break. I had felt the sense of despair for not being able to do anything for the duration of morning and the afternoon, and hence I felt really lousy about myself.
On hindsight I should probably relax more. I have 8 months and I am just scaring myself by giving myself many problems to solve, hence making it feel like I do not have much time left. But actually there is still much time until about April next year. And there are people that can help me out too, so there’s really nothing to worry about. I was just being overly paranoid.
But the stress is there, and it’s real. I guess after working hard for 3 whole years, you kind of hope you can achieve the first class honours that you had been working so hard for. I mean, you worked at this for 3 whole years! And the only time you were out of the first class CAP requirement was in semester 2! But now this FYP comes along, all 12MCs of it, threatening to just destroy it, because a first class honours has to come with at least an A- in FYP. No matter how good your results are, if your FYP is a B+, you’re still a second upper class honours student.
Hence the fear is real. It makes you want to be a perfectionist, to achieve the best. To push yourself harder and work harder to prove that you deserve the grade.
I think, at the moment, what I should do is to break the project into smaller chunks, and then slowly solve it, instead of worrying about the other chunks and causing myself to feel unduly stressed out. I so need a run to destress.. Maybe tomorrow afternoon!