My second wedding ceremony as a spectator

Today, a very good friend and brother got married in a simple ceremony at the church that he attends. This is the second wedding ceremony that I have attended since I have grown up. Before growing up, the last wedding ceremony or dinner that I attended was when I was below 10. Since then, nobody did get married as I am the earlier batch among all the relatives. Ever since entering adulthood, friends around me have started to find the other halves and now it is at this age, at a quarter of a century, that people are getting married and invitations start coming in.

Kunquan was my friend and brother during National Service. We knew each other from a long way back. I remember during the times when we were posted into Guards, we shared the same bunk with two other guys. It was then that we started to know each other much better. He was sent for the GPMG commanders course before coming back and doing GCC with the rest of us. After GCC, we got posted to Alpha company; he was in Platoon Two as the MG commander and I was in Platoon One as the Assistant Platoon Sergeant.

We shared many common memories together and were close then. Nowadays, we only see each other during reservist. Somehow everyone has gone a long way since then, and we have all drifted apart. Yet the common identity I shared with him as a Guardsmen made me feel that I have to be there to give my regards and blessings to the newlyweds. Somehow, this sense of camaraderie and brotherhood just will not die.

Kunquan and Jingya knew each other since JC days, through National Service and then married today. It just feels like a long love story, so pure and true. Deep down inside I knew I was a little sad that it couldn’t be the same for me. Frankly speaking, I was very happy that the two of them have found this strong love for each other, and it is indeed heartwarming to see them come together in this very special day.

Since the both of them are Christians, their wedding ceremony was designed to have the concept of the church strongly in it. It started with the bride coming in with her father, and then the couple stood in the front. Then the emcees sang a few Christian songs praising the Lord, and everyone stood there. When I heard the back singing along, somehow it just felt like one big giant celebration of love for the couple and for the God that they believed in. Some of the songs sounded so familiar, as though a part of me was Christian and that I had sung or heard those songs before.

The pastor came forward to give a speech – a very long one – to give advice to the young newlyweds. While I cannot understand the logic since it was Christian themed, but I guess somehow it felt beautiful.

The couple then said their wedding vows to each other. Then the pastor asked them the important question and both of them said “I will”. The parents of both sides were also asked if they agreed to the union and they agreed. The rings were exchanged, and nice things were said along with the ring presentation ceremony. Before the rings were exchanged, the pastor blessed the rings.

Somehow I just felt that it was all so beautiful. The meaning behind the vows, the exchange of the rings; it all made so much sense in a beautiful way. Somehow I was drawn and attracted to this concept of having a church wedding even though I am not a christian.

After the groom kissed the bride, they took photos with their friends and family, and the rest of us went down to the buffet reception. Seeing my friend marrying at my age, somehow I just felt a little old; and I cannot help but wonder, when will my turn come? I know that things cannot be forced, and things should just come naturally. I’m very happy that my friends are able to find someone to live the rest of their lives with, even though I am sad that I am unable to do so.

Weddings are just such a special occasions that I feel so happy to be invited to. Maybe this is because it is one of the first few weddings, and perhaps I would soon get sick of it when I have multiple weddings per year. But I would still try to attend each ceremony / dinner that I am invited to for my closer friends, as I think it is great to celebrate this event that is so beautiful and pure.

Perhaps one day, perhaps, that I would be the one doing all the invitations. And then one day perhaps, I would be able to step into the ballroom in my No 1 uniform, with my wife-to-be and walk through the sword party ceremony that my officer friends helped to create.

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