The last day of the year

Many of the people online seemed to be doing a conclusion to the year. The me a couple of years back would wonder what’s the point of doing a conclusion. Just because someone arbitrary decided to end the year today? But it’s just another form of closure; or rather a new beginning.

For us to function more effectively in the future, it is always good to think about the past and draw lessons. Lessons that teach us something so that the bad things will not happen again while the good is multiplied and repeated. It is like an After Action Review; a feedback session. You can do this any time of the year and you don’t have to do it today. It is just a convenient excuse to do it and wrap things up, as if somehow a change of year will bring about a change in you. But do realize that a change doesn’t come due to a change in year, but rather the change comes with the realization and determination not to repeat the failures and to apply your winning formula again and again.

In the year 2011, I graduated and found my first job, but since it was in the training phase, I wasn’t effectively working. So there wasn’t anything to conclude. A few days ago I read the reflections I did bi-weekly for the course and it gave me a different feeling. I still agree with the essence of what I wrote regarding integrity, commander’s dealings with subordinates, morale, fairness etc, but somehow perhaps the emotions part was different. It was like I grew up and understood more of what the course required of me. This is good as it helps me to grow.

In the year 2012, I started my actual work as an On Job Trainee. The year ends today, and I feel that I wasn’t good enough. I am not too sure how I really did, but I didn’t meet my own expectations, and I feel guilty and remorseful for it. There were things I wanted to do better, and there were other things I wish I did but I didn’t. This job is a challenging one as it deals not only with the engineering but other skills like organising, management (which further splits into coaching and facilitation, morale, team building etc) and even English writing, or staff work as it is called in my company. Every single node is waiting to be explored. Every node is waiting for me to improve and excel at it.

I’ve started reading widely. In the past it used to be a lot of fiction books. For the non-fiction genre, it used to be a lot of web programming/designing kind of books where I learn skills to create my own website etc. Currently it is a lot on self development. I’ve read three Tony Buzan books. First on Mindmapping, second on Improving Memory and the third is “Use your Head”, which is the parent book that introduces Mindmapping, Memory Improvement, Speed Reading etc. There are some skills learnt that I have applied, while I slowly try to understand how the other parts will help me in my professional life. I have some books outstanding still, for example one on Execution (doing things) and another on Organisation Learning. I just thought I should have started this learning much earlier. It would have been great that this began during University days, but it’s better late than never.

In 2012, I converted the concept behind this blog. It used to be a lot on opinion of current hot affairs, and it kind of died down when I realize the sensitivity behind many of the issues that I could have discussed. But I refrained because it wouldn’t be right, especially in a climate where people might misinterpret your words wrongly, and there is nothing you can do to defend yourself against the angry hoard. I changed this blog to one focusing on personal development. I tried to come up with some central themes, which I didn’t really develop and I ought to. I’ve been lazy. Perhaps this would be an outlet for my passion of developing other people. I know I may not be the best person to teach people anything, but in the spirit of sharing, perhaps you can learn one or two things from here and take it away with you to improve your life? I’m also open to hearing other opinions and methodologies.

Will I make any new year’s resolutions? Perhaps the first resolution is to keep the resolutions, since every year’s resolutions seem to account for nothing. But perhaps since it is the new year, well, let’s just try to get some things kicking:

1) Read 1 book a month
2) Pass my PCT exam
3) 23 points for IPPT
4) Improve at work until I am at least pleased with my performance
5) Write more regularly on this blog
6) Get started on my investments

6 is my favourite number, so let’s leave it as it is.

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