Being engaged

I’m engaged.

It seemed more of a fan fare at my fiancee’s side than mine. Seemed like because she was the one who shared the image, everyone realised that she accepted the proposal. Yet very minimal of my friends seemed to realise what had transpired. It’s just one of the more unique experiences I have had on Facebook that on one side all the excitement, yet on the other side it seemed cool and quiet. Alternatively one can argue that guys are generally non chalent about such things.

The decision to propose came easily but the eventual proposal didn’t come that easily. You have got to plan what you want to do. Do too much of fanciful stuff and your guy friends complain that you spoiled the market. And come to think of it, all those romantic dramas of rich guys pampering girls and all had already spoiled my market. Anyway, do too little and you will be seen as insincere, that it’s a girls privilege to be proposed that one time and it should at least be of some standard. You can imagine the stress it has on guys. Not only does he have to come up with something to make you touched, the things he do must give you sufficient bragging rights. The girl need not have the intention to brag, but the photos of the event etc would have made her prouder that she had has something different. Which made it all the more difficult when so many people before us have proposed before.

I took my time for the proposal which probably wasn’t that good on hindsight. I have already purchased a house, it shouldn’t take me that long to propose since the decision to buy a house equates that of getting married in the Singapore context. But I needed time to prepare and it was scary. Just think about it, the guy has to do everything and still risk rejection. It is scary.

You have to first talk to her parents for her hand, an effort made easier because I spoke to her parents in front of her. It allowed us to be frank about the marriage and eliminate possible misunderstandings that might occur. After all, you are not their birth son and you wouldn’t have interacted with them enough to be fully cognizant about their use of tone and their forms of expressions.

And the say itself. I roped in the help of my primary school friend who knew how to play the ukulele. I bought a ukulele and learnt from him how to strum and what notes to play at which point in time. I was still lousy during the actual event as I was extremely nervous. You have no idea until you do your own proposal. It’s easy to judge from a computer, really.

I also made a nice, an adjective I hoped was apt,  photo album detailing the many milestones in our lives: the first and second anniversary celebrations our birthdays, first overseas trip to phuket and the second overseas trip to Australia, the first time she join my company’s family day, the first time she was sick and I brought her to a steamboat place because she wanted something not oily and many more. I shopped at paper market until I had a membership. But I guess what is most touching is the words I placed at the end of the album. I wrote it as thought it were my vows; I bared my heart.

On that day I brought her to the Sky dining at jewel box on mount faber. It was three rounds of cable car. The first two rounds went by effortlessly although I was nervous about the final round. We had a good meal. At the start of the third round, the staff brought in our desserts together with the album and the ukulele. I gave her the album and started singing her favourite song for her. It was really horrible but she loved it. I guess it is the effort put in. I made mistakes and got stunned at some. I forgot which parts I needed to strum, and took some time to redo certain parts. It was really funny on hindsight because I was so so nervous. I recited the passage I wrote in the last page of the album and she was touched to tears. I took the ring from my bag, walked over to her, and knelt down as far as I could in the squeezy cabin and asked her to marry me.

She said yes.

Lucky me. The nervousness all went away.

It wasn’t a great proposal where there are a lot of patterns, songs and dance. It wasn’t what you would share on YouTube for the whole world to see. But that is just who I am and what I do. And the whole proposal is just a reflection of who I am and what I mean to her and what she meant to me. I’m just glad she is happy with the arrangements.

Oh and I sent her a bouquet of lilies and purple roses to her workplace in the morning.

And so I am engaged, moving on to the next phase of life. I never thought I will make it here someday but I did. All these experiences just tell me that we have to just be ourselves in relationships. Some will fail and some terribly too. But there will come a day for someone who will give you the confidence to propose to her.

I love you my dear fiancee.

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