3rd Time Being a Brother

Today was the third time that I helped out in a wedding as part of the brothers team. And it was the easiest session. Partly because the session started only at about 10am in the morning, and there were minimum travel (Just meet at bride’s house, go to groom’s house, to Marina Barrage to take photos and to the banquet venue) and partly because I was more experienced.

It was also this time which I had gained sufficient experience in previous sessions to be able to think ahead and contribute more. Perhaps I have also grown to know what role a brother should fulfil after having planned for my brother’s tasks as a soon to be groom.

The entire session was a fun experience even for the brothers. Although I yelled myself hoarse trying to make the yum seng as loud as possible.

But the thing that impacted me the most was the realisation that I too am getting married in a week’s time. I had two years to plan for this wedding after proposing in end 2013. During the two years, there was sufficient time to procrastinate, although we did complete many of the tasks ahead of time. There was so much time in between that everything didn’t seem urgent and we could slowly do them. And even when the wedding date draws nearer and the furniture in my room gradually was replaced into a couple friendly environment, it didn’t feel as sudden as this. That next week, it would be me standing there and going through the entire thing.

I guess attending a wedding from a brother’s point of view about one week before a wedding would give rise to such thoughts. If I did not attend this wedding, I might not have thought about it this way. It is through seeing it first hand that I realise this would be me next week. And it worries me that I might be too nervous to enjoy the entire process. What to say and what not to say. Whether it will all turn out good. Whether I would have forgotten something, or that my planning was insufficient. Suddenly the jitters are building up.

I told my fellow brothers that marriage seemed to be like a step function. One day you are single and bam! Next day you are married. The lifestyle change that comes along with it is so sudden that it needs some time getting used to. Even I probably need to adapt,  not to mention my bride who will be staying with my family for the next two years. I must remember to be more understanding to her feelings as she transited from a family that she was used to living with for 27 years into mine which she only need to meet during the weekends.

I am excited for the upcoming nuptials, and at the same time worried too. But it will all be well, I guess. Most of the things have been planned and my brothers would be skilled enough to execute the plan. I will just have to endure the next six days before my wedding date arrives.


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